.jpg)
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about work culture. Not the “we have Slack and free coffee” kind - I mean the inner engine of how we show up every day, what drives our behavior at work, and whether we actually know how to function in a team, in a company, in a professional environment.
This thought hit me hard after listening to a podcast with Mark Manson and David Brooks. They dived into the growing crisis around missing social skills - something we don’t talk about nearly enough, but we should.
They mostly focused on personal life, but their ideas apply perfectly to the workplace too. The core of it? Social skills aren’t just nice-to-haves. They’re survival tools. Yet no one teaches us social skills and how to effectively use them in diverse situations.
Especially at work.
Social Skills Are the Unofficial Curriculum
School prepares us for exams, universities teach us expert information, and corporate onboarding often focuses on "how to use the internal tools." But where do we actually learn how to build an inner driving power that will help us not only work with people and tools, but create and show an inner mindset programmed for growth?
To back this up, Harvard’s famous Study of Adult Development found that close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives. And yet, we still treat communication, self-awareness, empathy, and feedback like "soft" skills... as if they’re optional extras, not the glue that holds high-functioning teams together.
And here’s what’s worse: when people don’t have these skills, we blame them individually. But no one ever stopped to actually teach them.
Let’s Zoom In: The Work Culture Gap
So, what happens when someone enters a company with zero training in how to behave professionally, ask for help, give honest feedback, or take ownership? Chaos.
The issue, in many of the cases, isn’t that people don’t want to be good employees, or good at what they do - it’s that many have never been taught what that actually means. They’ve had exposure to systems and rules, but not to principles.
And in some companies, this gets masked by strong processes. In others, it turns into a slow, toxic drift - people missing deadlines, feeling unmotivated, not knowing how to ask better questions or manage their own tasks. Sound familiar?
This is where early work experiences matter. Your first few jobs can shape your entire professional mindset. If you land in a company that has no real expectations or feedback, you might think, “Oh, I guess this is just how work works.” Until, of course, you’re thrown into a fast-paced team and realize - ouch - you’re completely unprepared.
Are We Teaching Work Culture, or Leaving It to Luck?
Here’s the uncomfortable question: Are we intentionally teaching work culture in our organizations, or are we expecting people to figure it out based on vibes, trial-and-error, or occasional Slack messages?
Spoiler: It should be taught.
We need to start treating work culture the way we treat technical onboarding - structured, deliberate, and based on clear values.
And yes, some people naturally come in with strong work habits. But many don’t - not because they’re lazy, but because no one ever showed them how to:
- Manage their time realistically
- Ask questions that aren’t vague or passive-aggressive
- Take initiative without overstepping
- Understand how they fit into a team beyond “my tasks”
- Handle feedback without panicking or shutting down
These aren’t intuitive. They’re skills.
Where Culture Meets People: 3 Areas That Matter Most
Let’s break it down. There are three major pieces to this puzzle:
1. Personal & Work Principles
Your work style is just a reflection of your personal principles, magnified by pressure and deadlines.
If you value honesty in life, you’ll probably give direct feedback. If you procrastinate in daily life, that’ll show up at work too. And that’s okay, but we can’t separate “who I am as a person” from “who I am as a team member.” They’re the same, or at least very similar.
So, what can companies do? Encourage principles development. Not just mission statements but actual day-to-day habits. This means:
- Talking openly about values during onboarding
- Running team workshops on different personality types and collaboration styles
- Helping people understand why their work matters, not just what they do
This builds self-awareness, and that’s the root of a strong work culture. Similar to self-development, which is a constant process and people change over time, hopefully for the better, the work culture can be seen as a never-ending process. And it’s completely teachable, having the right drive and self-motivation.
2. The Role of the Employer
This is where leadership comes in. Managers are not just task distributors - they’re culture coaches. If your team doesn’t know what great looks like, don’t expect greatness.
Work culture isn’t taught in a single meeting. It’s reinforced in every 1:1, every team sync, every decision you make publicly as a leader.
And yes, onboarding is huge here.
One of my priorities during onboarding is culture before tasks. Why? Because technical skills are teachable. But shared mindset? That takes longer, and it’s the multiplier for everything else.
I’m always trying to be clear about expectations from day one:
- What does “ownership” look like here?
- How do we communicate across teams?
- What’s our approach to mistakes and feedback?
- How do we define success beyond KPIs?
And here’s where it gets tricky, especially with newcomers and junior team members. Guiding them is not just about teaching the job, it’s about teaching what good work habits look like and are acceptable in a given work environment. And that’s a time-consuming process. But if we agree that the slow, mediocre, or even nonexistent progress of these groups isn’t always about lack of experience - and is often tied to a missing understanding of work culture, then the real question becomes:
How much effort is acceptable to invest in closing that gap?
From both a business and a personal perspective.
This is honestly one of my biggest leadership challenges - How do I avoid micromanaging while still making sure people get it, not just the task at hand, but the thinking behind it? How do I help them move in the right direction, at the right pace, in a way that brings value to their personal growth and aligns with the goals of the company, if they are in a highly dynamic environment?
It’s a delicate balance - giving autonomy without leaving people to figure everything out alone. Being supportive without enabling passivity. And investing time now, knowing the return may come months later.
3. Society & Generational Shifts
Is there a Generational shift? Let’s talk real. Is this a “generational issue”? Maybe partly. But I’d argue it’s more of a systemic gap than a Gen Z problem.
Work used to be identity. Now, it’s utility. And while I support healthier work-life balance, I’ve also noticed something worrying: more people today see work as the thing they do in between their “real life.” As a result, they’re disengaged, disconnected, and unclear about how to grow.
But guess what? Passionate, proactive people still exist. They’re just harder to find because they don’t always know how to show it professionally.
We need to help those people stand out. And we need to stop assuming that “people just figure it out.”
So How Do We Build a Better Work Culture?
A few actionable ideas:
- Document your values, not just your processes.
- Run culture onboarding, before tools and tasks.
- Coach for self-awareness, not just technical skill.
- Hold feedback sessions, as a form of two-way growth.
- Invest in mentorship, to pass down real-world wisdom.
- Normalize directness, without making it brutal.
And most importantly - build trust. Everything else flows from there.
Final Thoughts
There will always be two kinds of people: those who work for the paycheck, and those who find meaning in what they do. Both can be valuable, but it’s the second group that drives real change.
The question is: are we doing enough to help them grow, stay, and build something meaningful?
Or are we just hoping they’ll figure it out on their own?
